Grandparents: The Forgotten Story

Paternal grandparents often suffer a triple loss when their sons go through a separation. Grandparents feel their sons' unhappiness and despair; they may see their daughter-in-law become a stranger to them; they often are denied or have limited access to their grandchildren.

A grandparent can go overnight from being an integral part of their grandchildren's lives to an afterthought at the precise time that children need them most.

A paternal grandparent's grief is not even understood and their caring time is often based on the parenting opportunities of their son. If their son fades away or disappears then their time may become non-existent.

Many grandparents suffer the same feelings of despair and loss as their son. Often Grandparents become divided over what to do and their relationship suffers. They become victims of physical illness.

"Our children are not going to be just our children; they are going to be other people's husbands and wives, and the parents of our grandchildren." - Mary S. Calderone, Writer

Children often lose the sense of their two family heritages and more importantly "who they are" when this relationship becomes distant. Grandparents can provide the connections during this time of turmoil.

Paternal grandparents observe the joy of other grandparents and, like their son, feel even more powerless. It challenges all of their beliefs about fairness and our judicial institutions.

Child Poverty will be mitigated when the love and resources of grandparents are part of a child's life.

For many children, especially teens, there is a sanctuary of calm and stability offered by grandparents, a place where they are loved. No one has the right to take that from a child or a grandparent.

Every Parenting Plan must recognize the unique role of grandparents in ensuring positive outcomes for our children. Our legislators and judiciary must ensure that our children always have this source of love.

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