Welcome to our website. It is the product of my journey as a separated dad that began 35 years ago at the end of March Break 1991. I share my experience to offer both some hard-won lessons learned and some hope that reconstituted families are not just possible: they can thrive. My own complicated family with its new and sometimes chosen members continually fills me with wonder and is the greatest joy of my life.
I would normally describe myself as even keeled, but on the day after agreeing to leave the matrimonial home, I drove past a swamp on my left. It took everything not to swerve off the road. It was the first time in my 47 years that I had such dark thoughts. That troubling moment still haunts me 35 years later.
Kids ‘n’ Dad hopes to engage every separating family who desires that their children have a loving, positively involved, and enduring relationship with both parents and extended families. Our site provides a roadmap for navigating the difficult journey of separation.
Dedications from Barry
To Elaine – my wife for 33 years and stepmother to three children, grandma to six, great grandma to two. Elaine’s faith in me as a partner, parent, and person were the beginning of my recovery; her enduring love sustains me through life’s triumphs and challenges.
To my three children who never abandoned me through all the chaos especially when the easier course would have been to do so. I marvel at how they nurture their own families and am more grateful than they could ever know for the gift of my grandchildren.
To my dad and gramps who modelled the importance of family and children throughout their lives. Their examples inspire me and inform the relationships I have with my own children and grandchildren.
To the 800+ dads, mothers, grandparents and stepparents who every day enriched my life for 20+ years with their courage and steadfast desire to stay engaged and improve their families’ lives.
About Us
- Meet the founder of Kids ‘n’ Dad
- Explore the organization’s history
- Read blog posts
Resource Hub
- Support tools for every step of the separation process
- Links for parents, children, and others impacted by separation
What We Do
Kids ‘n’ Dad is not about selling a concept of a “happy family separation,” as we recognize that family separation is always more painful and challenging than imagined. However, we hope that the knowledge and resources on our site can help to eliminate the most significant fear for separating parents: losing their relationship with their child.
Kids ‘n’ Dad is about a separation process where each parent is respected and deemed as a key partner in the child’s life. We hope to educate separating parents about making good choices that reduce and even eliminate many of the negative outcomes for children, parents, and extended families. Our goal is that each parent will be able to look back at the road travelled and take some comfort in what you have accomplished together in loving and meeting the needs of your children.
“Every caring, family relationship is at risk- nothing is predictable or certain. Through Kids ‘n’ Dad, humanizing the separation process became my life’s mission.”
– Barry Lillie, 2013 Recipient of the Fernand Lozier Award of Excellence in Father Involvement Practice
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