Kids ‘n’ Dad’s mission is rooted in the story of its founder, Barry Lillie. From 2005-2021, Kids ‘n’ Dad was a nonprofit and then a registered charity based in Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario, Canada.
Kids ‘n’ Dad Shared Support shut down in 2023 and its founder, Barry Lillie, is no longer offering in-person workshops. The website is an attempt to fill the void by sharing his personal journey and the experiences of over 800 fathers, mothers and grandparents.
Our wish is that the website will humanize all parties to the processes of separating and rebuilding families. Our goal is to promote understanding and civility and to offer hope that a reconstituted family is not only possible, it can bring newfound joy.
Barry’s Story
Hi – I’m Barry Lillie. This picture is of me and then 3 year old granddaughter on the beach in the Gulf of Mexico. It was, for this writer, a reminder of our family’s uncertain journey to this time and place. I am a separated dad and now grandfather of a beautiful blended family. I want your family to have what I have only with less pain, damage, and loss.
I founded Kids ‘n’ Dad to provide support for separating fathers because I felt, through my own experiences, a lack of resources to help me navigate that challenging time. Over the years, our efforts grew to include resources for parents of all kinds, children, and family and friends, all of whom are impacted by separation.
This picture with my granddaughter reminds me what is at stake for every separating family. Every caring, family relationship is at risk – nothing is predictable or certain.
Through our website, we hope you will find that you are not alone and that resources exist to support you.
For more on my own story, see these blog posts:
- Open Letter: Personal Recovery
- Our Kids Matter
- A Personal Journey (in memory of my parents and grandparents)
- On Becoming a Dad, Grandpa, and Great Grandpa
History and Blog
Our History
- Follow the growth of Kids ‘n’ Dad from nonprofit to registered charity to present day
Barry’s Blog
- Lessons learned from living through separation
No fees were ever charged for our services recognizing the harsh financial realities of every separated family. Kids ‘n’ Dads is grateful for the financial support of both individual sponsors, donors, and funding organizations that made our work possible. Thank you in particular to the families impacted by our work who donated to the organization.
Our Impact: Kids ‘n’ Dad Today
Throughout our history, Kids ‘n’ Dad supported hundreds of families experiencing separation. Our work has been recognized with awards and by members of parliament (see the Timeline for more information).
Now retired, Barry continues to speak and write on the topics of separation, blended families, and co-parenting, and our website.
Kids ‘n’ Dad received the following testimonials over the years:
- “It was just like a big weight off my shoulders because everyone is in the same boat. did a world of good for me… we’re all there to help each other.” – from a separated dad’s support group participant
- “I hope you know how in debt I am to you. Where do you find the heart? Please tell me so perhaps some day I can return the favour to other men like me. It just seems like your support, kindness, and dedication go on forever. Thank you so very much. I won’t let you down. I won’t give up.” – from a separated dad’s support group participant
Contact
As Kids ‘n’ Dads has ceased formal operations, Barry is not entertaining feedback that triggers volatile responses and debate. Explore other chat sites if necessary; they can be supportive in their own way.
The intended audience of this site is broad based, and we hope that users will recommend this resource to those in their circle who would find it useful. It is also offered to social workers and agencies where separating parents and children form a significant part of their clients.
If you’d like to send Barry an email, he can be reached through his personal email at kndlillie@execulink.com.
Explore the Resource Hub for Support
Resource Hub
- Support tools for every step of the separation process
- Links for parents, children, and others impacted by separation
Our Guiding Principles
Here are the values and information that governed the development of Kids ‘n’ Dad.
- Kids ‘n’ Dad holds that every child needs to have both parents’ support and involvement from infancy through adulthood, whatever their family circumstances.
- Kids ‘n’ Dad holds that both parents love their children and are equally committed to ensuring that their children know that they are loved and supported throughout their lives.
- Kids ‘n’ Dad recognizes that the barriers and obstacles faced by parents during a separation too often lead to legal conflict that limits the parenting opportunities for one parent and results in terrible loss for that parent and child.
- Kids ‘n’ Dad recognizes that close to 50% of children of separation and divorce will suffer the loss of a close father/child relationship within 2-3 years of a family break-up.
- Kids ‘n’ Dad believes that our responsibility is to work with fathers and families to ensure that a dad’s desire to be a continuing parenting partner post-separation is realized for the short and long term benefit of the whole family.
Children Will Listen, the song by Stephen Sondheim and performed here by Bernadette Peters, captures some of the motivations behind Barry and Kids ‘n’ Dad’s work:
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