Note: This paper was composed years ago to understand the complexity and broad range of issues within this topic. It is a resource list – some may be dated, however most are educational and comprehensive.

Do your own research. Find support services to help in your recovery if a victim or a perpetrator.

There are many difficult issues connected to any discussion of this topic, and it is specifically so in a family setting. Once violence or other forms of abuse become public the intimate relationship is likely to end and the intact family is likely going to come to an abrupt end.

** There are programs available from counselling, the John Howard Society and Family and Children Services to name a few that may calm the family situation.

I am writing this as someone who has two adult daughters and one adult son, and several granddaughters and grandsons. My wish is that they live in an environment free from being victimized by abusive behaviors or from being an individual who commits abusive acts.

In the recommended resources, there are several articles on signs a) of abusive behaviors; b) of being a victim; c) of gender abuse against women and/or men; d) of support services designed to protect victims, etc.

In our work at Kids n Dad Shared Support and through this website our mission is to find approaches that prevent such behaviors and ensures children remain connected to each parent and extended family.

Please read carefully the materials provided below. An intimate relationship breakdown, even in relationships with no history of abusive behavior, can precipitate high risk/volatile situations once the separation is initiated and during the difficult, early weeks and months.

Finding supports for these initial discussions re: separating may be necessary and appropriate for families who have experienced volatility during their relationship. The worst potential outcomes for children, parents and extended families may occur in the way you end the intimate relationship.

Below are resources over a comprehensive range of topics on Domestic Violence. They were done a few years ago but set out potential direction for matching your situation.

What is relationship conflict or abusive behavior?

Below are recommended resources to understand these issues.

• Divorce and Family Violence Fact Sheet
• Signs of an Abusive Relationship – The Family Place
• Abuse Warning Signs, “Understand Relationship Abuse” National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Family Violence (Government of Canada’s Parenting After Separation Participant’s Manual)
• Warning Signs and Red Flags. (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
• What is child abuse? (Ontario Association of Children’s Aids Societies)
• Recognize domestic violence against women – Mayo Clinic
• Recognize domestic violence against men – Mayo Clinic
• Male Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence in Canada (Government of Canada)
• Top 100 Traits-who suffer from personality disorders. (Emotional Abuse-Out of the Fog)
• Male victims of domestic violence struggle to disclose abuse – Tamara Mathias, Reuters

Possible Actions/Supports

• Government of Canada directory for services (includes an updated and comprehensive list of helplines and a searchable database of support services near you)
• Domestic Violence – Waterloo Regional Police
• Fact Sheet: Moving Women Out of Violence (Canadian Women’s Foundation)
• Family Violence Project of Waterloo Region
• Create a safety plan (Mayo Clinic)
• Sexual Assault and Support Centre of Waterloo Region